Archive for August, 2015

The Countdowns (Worst Movies of all time)

Posted: August 26, 2015 by hieiyyh2 in The Countdowns
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Welcome one and all to another edition of the countdown.  It is here where you will find out just what I think is awesome, crappy, snarky, nerdy, and SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN MADE.  So without further ado.  Lets jump right in to the dark dank waters of film and countdown.  The Top Ten Worst Movies of all time.

10. Super Mario Brothers: If you thought this movie wasn’t going to make the list you are dead wrong.  Let me ask you.  When you think of Super Mario do you think about a plumber and his brother who get sucked into an alternate world. Where Dinosaurs still exist and the royal family of this world were turned into a fungus that is sentient.  And the bad guy is a man bent on crossing over to the human world and de-evolving the inhabitants of our world?  OR do you think about a chubby dude in blue overalls with a red shirt and a red cap.  Jumping on angry looking mushrooms and fighting a giant lizard thing to rescue a princess?  If you said the first part than you would be right….. wait?  No This movie was just plain terrible.  Who likes this movie you ask?

 

9. Dungeons & Dragons: How do you screw up a movie about high adventure, high magic and the bonds of friendship triumphing over evil……  You make it a serious film with idiotic dialog and have no connection to what makes the game great.  That is how you ruin a film like Dungeons & Dragons.

8. Fantastic Four (Reboot): Do not get me wrong, I wanted this movie to do good.  The Fantastic Four are the first family of Comics.  They started it all and brought comics into popularity.  This film is an example of why studios need to allow directors who know and love the material, room and TIME to create their vision.  Not have a hand in everything and force a movie to release because your competitors just released an awesome blockbuster.  I honestly believe their is a rebooted Fantastic Four on the cutting room floor that would have been better than what we got.

7.  Dragonball Evolution: A prime example of why America needs to leave Japanese source materials to the Japanese.  If you want to piss off the fans of a franchise to the point where they want to burn your studio to the ground.  Here is what you do.  Take what they love, wipe your ass with it, piss on it, burn it, and than create a story mashing together every plot of the original story into 90 mins and think Thats good enough.  NO.  Give a me one second while I found out who Produ……. FOX!  YOU MOTHER #*$&

………………….Please excuse us while we deal with technical difficulties………………………..

mmmmhmmmm sorry I just had an out burst.  Next Film

6.  Twilight:  Before you scream at me for being a hater.  Here me out on this.  The director of the first film I like her work.  She directed one of my favorite movies (Lords of Dogtown) so I gave the film a shot.  But when your movie puts me to sleep in under twenty mins…… Yeah it’s bad.  Not because I hate the franchise (for many good reasons).  Not because the writer of the screenplay had little to work with in ways of dialog.  But because when your Actors come out and say they hate their characters and that “This is just a paycheck for me.” (Paraphrasing).  When your actors think the author is a terrible writer.  That is why this movie is on this list.  Actually all for movies are in this spot.  Congratulations to you Stephanie Meyer.  Each progressive movie got more and more asinine and convoluted to a point where the last two movies had more jump cuts in it than Freddie Krueger playing jump rope and cutting peoples throats.

5. Hackers: Believe me when I tell you.  I put this movie on this list and I secretly enjoy this film.  This movie is a guilty pleasure for me.  You have a good idea, you make it cyberpunky and than you throw in technical terms that don’t exist.  You throw in counter hacker measures that don’t exist.  To quote Romero from Mr. Robot.  “I have been in this game for twenty seven years and not once have I ever seen a singing virus.” The movie is hackie, outdated, rediculous.  But it has a certain charm to it that I love.

4.  Chairman of the Board: Why anyone thinks Carrot Top is funny is beyond me.  But to put him in a film (unless it is a stoner movie) and have try to be funny for 90+ minutes…. Yes I wanted to gouge a screw driver into my eye socket.  That seemed more entertaining than this movie.  The plot made no sense even the characters didn’t get it.

3. In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale:  Not even Jason Statham’s celeberity appeal could save this atrocity of a movie.  The Production value was shitty, the dialog was less than subpar.  Even for Uwe Boll this movie was just plain BAD!  I don’t care if Uwe Boll will want to box me for say this movie is a piece of crap, I am calling it like I see it.

2. BloodRayne: Another of the Uwe Boll movies.  How do you screw up a sexy vampire chick in leather…. Well you do everything that went on in this movie.  That is how.  Uwe some how made this game that was fun to play, turned into a movie that made people think Uwe Boll would have been a better porn director.

1. Alone In The Dark: Finally We come to number one and I am sad to say it is yet another Uwe Boll film.  Alone in the Dark should have been left there….. Christian Slater…. love the actor but he has to pick better films to be in.  Lucky for Christian he went on to better things….. But as for this movie.  I solely believe that it was this movie that cemented Uwe Boll’s place as the Number One Worst Director of all time.  Knocking Ed Wood Jr. off his long standing pedestal.

This concludes another countdown.  I hope you enjoyed and as always please leave comments tell us what your top 10 is.  Happy Reading

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Hawaiian Chicken Salad

Posted: August 21, 2015 by hieiyyh2 in Cooking With Hiei
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Today is nice and simple it is a salad.

What you will need

Your Favorite Chicken Salad
Lettuce (I prefer spinach or Baby Lettuce Mix)
Half an Onion
Pineapple
Grape Fruit
Grape Tomatoes
Mango Vinaigrette (Homemade or Store bought)
Feta Cheese is optional

First things first.  After you make your favorite Chicken Recipe or Prepacked from the store, set it to the side.  Now.  Wash your lettuce mix in a salad mixer and also set to the side.  Dice your half of onion, than cut half of your pineapple into cubes.  (The other half will be used for the optional dessert recipe at the bottom. 🙂 ) Peel your grapefruit and break into wedges and than half the wedges.  Wash your grape tomatoes and than cut them in half.  Combine Lettuce, Onion, Pineapple, grapefruit and a good portion of your tomatoe halves (the rest you can give to people to add more tomatoes if they like.) Serve the salad in bowls with 1 to 2 scoops of Chicken Salad.  Sprinkle on the Feta cheese and than add as much dressing as you desire and mix it all together and enjoy.

BONUS RECIPE

Grilled Pineapple Chunks over Ice Cream

This one is SUPER Easy folks.

Using the remaining half of Pineapple, cube it and place cubes in a grill safe dish (Aluminum Foil Chaffing trays work great for this.)  Set grill to low to medium heat.  Add Cinnamon and sugar to the pineapples if you desire.  Place the dish of pineapple onto the grill, close door and all to heat.  Stir occasionally so all the flavors incorporate.  Once the pineapple get nice and soft and the juice is in the pan and it smells amazing…..  Serve over a nice big bowl of Vanilla Ice Cream (Or any ice cream you desire really)

Creative Corner

Posted: August 13, 2015 by Andi Pants in creative corner
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Here comes another wonderful writing from Penn! He promises that next month will be even better. I’m excited!

It was an odd sort of night. Lucas was in bed for starters and if that weren’t enough, he was actually asleep. Not a deep sleep, the General of Val Liens rarely ever fell into a deep sleep, but it was a comforting sleep. He could feel the body that slept next to him, and a small smile spread across his lips. While their marriage had been an attempt to keep her children out of shame, and furthermore keep the naysayers away from her rule, Lucas and Delphi had come into an easy love. He knew it would never be a fairy tale. The evening she’d called him to her bedchamber to explain her proposal, he knew it would be much how the nobles arranged marriages all over Thedas. Still, it had been a more fulfilling marriage than he had expected.

Her soft breath was enough of an indication that it was ok. Things were ok, despite the chaos erupting everywhere around them. She had sought his council again discussing what actions she should take. First and foremost, he had said, he was with her in whatever capacity she chose to be involved. Circumstances notwithstanding, he knew her friendship with Honorah was deep and if The Duchess of Val Liens wished to pledge her support to the Inquisition, then The Lion would lead her troops as necessary. Even if she had to relocate to wherever the Inquisition was headquartered, Lucas would be able to remain behind in Val Liens. The city was a marvel to behold for sure, but as a military stronghold, its design was second to none.

A gentle shake was all it took to get him awake. It was his Lieutenant on watch. “What is it,” Lucas asked in a whisper. The man nodded and pointed his head out of the door. Whatever it was, it needed to be told to Lucas before Delphi could hear it. Which meant whatever it was, was meant for the Duchess’ General, not her husband and advisor. Lucas quietly got out of bed and followed the man out into the hallway. “I apologize, sir, but this couldn’t wait.” Lucas’ Lieutenant looked scared. He was a man who’d seen enough of battle to not be so easily rattled.

“One of our rangers came in through the North gate not thirty minutes ago. No one else came with him, he was part of a group, some ten to fifteen men. He said they were slaughtered, he’d managed to escape…but only just.” Lucas was impatient as they began walking towards Lucas’ private wing, but with the way the man spoke, he needed to let out his fears. “It seems…the Templar’s have taken a disliking to the Duchesses choice in support. The ranger he said there were at least three battalions less than a day away.”
Less than a day. There wasn’t enough to time for them all to leave. No…but there would be enough time if someone stayed. “Send two runners. One is to sound the alarm in the city, spread the word that Val Liens must empty, anyone who remains and is able bodied will be provided a sword and shield. The second to the men at the Academy and from there the barracks. The majority will leave with the citizens out of the South gate, I require a token force, volunteers, to remain behind. We will hold them until the people are safely away.”

There was a moment of hesitation from his Lieutenant. “I’ll wake her. Send for the maid…tell her to prepare the children for travel and prepare a messenger raven…I have to send word to Ser Cousland.”

In the few moments that came, Lucas was dressed for war. His shield, for the moment hung heavy and dangerous on his back. His broadsword likewise, silently deadly in its scabbard waiting for its gift of death to be bestowed upon his enemies. He carefully entered her bedchamber even as the first of the alarms began to ring in the city just outside the large window that ran along her side of the bedroom. She awoke with a start, sleep still clinging to her beautiful face. This was what he would fight for, this moment where she was not the Duchess, she was Delphi…and if even for a few years had been his wife. “Why are you in your armor, Lucas? You hadn’t scheduled a false alarm, or did you?” He walked to her side of the bed and gently cupped her face with his rough, callused yet gentle hands. He kissed her head softly and thumbed her cheek in one motion. “No, my little duchess. This is no false alarm. Templar’s are a day away at best…they have taken insult to your choice of support.”

She rose to protest and he shook his head. “The alarm has been sounded, the orders given.” At the same moment her handmaiden walked in with their…no…her children. They were more entangled with sleep than their mother, but they still seemed to understand something was not right. “I have ordered the city emptied. If we all made our way south, they would catch us and slaughter every person.” He took a deep breath and gave his world, his life a small smile. “I will remain behind with a volunteer force. If they break through, or send part of their force after you, you will have protection and the means to repel any attack as it may come.”

Again she made to protest and he calmly put a hand on her shoulder. “You will lead your people to safety. I’ve already sent word to Laurence, the raven should arrive by mid-morning. I’ve instructed him to meet you at this location,” He gave her a small map with the name of a village circled, “In two days time. He will be able to help more than I at that point.” Finally she managed to grab his hand and stare at him fiercely. “You will not remain here, you will come with me and the children.” He shook his head. “For the first time, my love. I must go against your wishes. My first duty is to honor and preserve you and I will not risk your life, or theirs. Get dressed. Your horse is already saddled.”

“Lucas, stop. There has to be another way.” She pleaded and he fought against the urge to just leave. He turned to her and embraced her, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent. “Through one thousand worlds, and ten thousand lifetimes. I will search for you…and I will wait for you in all of them.”

It was the last thing he’d ever say to her.

————————————–

It had taken a few more moments and tears that Lucas could not shed before they managed to separate. The lingering feel of her lips on his would be one of the last memories he carried to the field that day. The Lion of Val Liens fought for his home, for his men and for his Duchess. The Templar army was utterly routed but at the cost of every man who had remained behind to defend the ill and elderly who could not vacate the city in time. They delayed the army long enough for The Duchess to rendezvous with her Serpent and eventually came back to a Val Liens that was still free, where the common folk spoke of how the Lion defended his den from the wolves.

Years later, when sorting through old papers a letter fell out of a stack of things molding and rotting. The penmanship was masculine and she immediately recognized it as Lucas’ hand. It was the letter he’d sent Laurence the night he’d stayed to save them all.

“Laurence, I don’t have time to explain. You must ride out at first opportunity for the village circled on the map below. Delphi and the children will either be there already or meet you there. Templar’s marched against Val Liens, I remained.” There were a few attempts to start, but none legible until he wrote one more sentence. “Your son has a deep love for horses, I’ve encouraged it as best as I could. Your daughter has had an affinity for the bow, another hobby that I have encouraged and assisted as best as I could. They will be under your care now. Take care of them…they are all that will be left of me.”

There are so many things that I could have titled this one… But I really am deeply, and truly torn about how I feel about this entry. It is positively true though if you really look at it… All fingers are beginning to point that television is stuck on repeat. There are a billion and two cop dramas. Seventeen thousand hospital dramas. Forty-two hundred and seventy two comedies that are all basically the same thing. (These are not real life numbers for the record). They all have the same plot at their base line. Catch the bad guy, save a life, make fun of the in laws… In an earlier post I had broken down what shows would be released this fall, and not only were there more of the same slop that is already on television, they’re now breaking down movies and recycling them for the TV audience. I can think of things that they could do with all of that airtime… (Cough-firefly-cough) I’m sure if they were to spend time, or even hire someone to do it for them, they could peruse the internet long enough to find that someone has put a short story on a website somewhere that could spark fresh life into the television game. The internet is full of wonderful writers who are just begging to be seen, they’ve done all of the work for the networks, they’ve already created the characters, the places, the time line, the entire plot… But TV would rather have more crime solving dramas. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy binge watching NCIS, or that House isn’t one of my all-time favorite shows; this isn’t to say that I hate the shows that are on TV now… Just that they need a little help.

So, why do I think that they are truly running out of ideas, minus the above stated? Well… A good friend told me that they were working on doing a Xena reboot. Mhm, that’s right… The Warrior Princess (Which I can say I’ll now be binge watching on my day off… Thank you Netflix) is trying to work her way back onto the airwaves. There isn’t a whole lot of detail around it yet, but lets get into what I did find out.

For those of you who have lived under a rock, Xena, Warrior Princess was a television show that ran from 1995 through 2001. It follows a princess who didn’t want to be the a-typical damsel in distress type of princess, instead, she goes out, gets herself some armor, and beats up on the bad guys. Along the way she has run ins with Gods, Goddesses and even Demi-Gods. (Those of you who know the show know where the next sentence is going) Along with the show Xena, there was also Hercules, the two shows often ran together in a similar sense to what Green Arrow and The Flash do on the CW currently. Now… Personally, I could have not cared any less about Hercules, I’m a huge mythology nerd and so I knew all about him, his trials, his stories; why would I want to watch it on TV? On the other hand, there was Xena, frickin butt whoopin bad ass with a shrill war cry and these awesome chakram weapons that would expertly bounce off of their surroundings to take out the bad guys. I can remember coming home from church with my mother on Sunday’s and either playing Legend of Zelda (N64) or watching Xena completely wide eyed and fully engrossed in the show.

Though everything surrounding the project is just rumor currently, there have been whisperings that it would be a modern day version, but I really don’t see how that would work… I can’t imagine Xena shrieking her famous war cry around New York City and busting up some bad guys while flirting with Ares and laughing at Aphrodite. If they could find a way to work it… It would still be a cool twist.

If they were to do it, I would like to see an honest to goodness real reboot. Take it from season one of the original show and work your way up. Though, I would suggest avoiding what ended up being the shows downfall, in my own opinion. They brought the modern world into it (Ha. See there?) I can remember Lucy Lawless’ character going to a shrink to talk about her past life, as Xena…. Hmm… What? Yeah… I’m all for self discovery, and past lives and what have you… However, the show itself was set way back in the day, when Gods and Goddesses still spoke to people… That’s where it should have stayed. Re-casting the characters would be quite the undertaking though. I can say that having a not so tacky version of the show would be frickin’ sweet…

Again, everything is only rumor… Sadly. Though I imagine that if they bring Xena back, they’ll have to bring Hercules back as well; and I only say ‘sadly’ because I wasn’t a fan. Both shows had, and still have a great following (Seeing as I’m spending all day watching Xena…) but some just loved one over the other. Whereas I was more of a fan of Xena, I have friends who were all about Hercules.

All in all, I still don’t know if I want to see this happen. I’d have to wait until there are solid details surrounding the remake, reboot, continuation; whatever they decide to do with it. All I can hope for, is that if they go down that road, that they do it properly.

What do ya’ll think? Should they go down this path, or leave it where it is? Would you be excited to see Xena return to television?

Domo Arigato Mr. Robot

Posted: August 9, 2015 by hieiyyh2 in Television
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Mr. RobotHave you seen it?  Has your world allowed you time to delve into the mind of a hacker?  Or has the drival of CSI Cybercrime got you thinking oh boy hackers?  Well than I ask you to lower your hate field and give Mr. Robot a try.

The show is about Elliot a computer engineer by day.  Vigilante Hacker by night.  With his impressive skills, he takes down people who are wronging other people.  From the get go you know this about him as he deals with a scumbag who beats his meat to kiddy porn.  As you get to know Elliot.  You find out that he has, issues.  For one he is clinically depressed, doesn’t like being touched by strange people he doesn’t trust…… and he is addicted to Morphine.   The show is quick to grab you by the throat and pull you into it’s world.  Elliot is called upon by his childhood friend Angela, to help her salvage a wreck of a problem at the place they both work.  It is during this time that Elliot begins to think something bigger is at play and stumbles upon F Society.  A group of hackers aiming to take down the Company that Elliot’s employer is charged with protecting.  Which you also find out is the company that was responisible for the death of both Angela’s mother and Elliot’s father.  It is a battle of morals as Elliot picks his way through the labyrinth of right and wrong.

Honestly I have heard the hype and it doesn’t disappoint.  It doesn’t fake what it is.  It doesn’t throw softball fake net terms like Dark Web at you.  It is raw, it is emotional, it makes you think and most importantly…… it grips you and doesn’t let you go.  Embrace it.  Enjoy it.  Go forth my readers and watch it.

And The Results

Posted: August 6, 2015 by hieiyyh2 in Reviews
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With the embargo lifted the reviews came pouring in and DAMN were they terrible.  IGN labeled their review of Fantastic Four as Fantastic Dour.  Rotten Tomatoes gave it 9%.  Nerdist dot com gave the movie 2 Burritos. Being blasted by fans and casual movie goers alike. Each of the major reviewing sites gave a consistent.  “Where is the family values of this movie.”  So until we can get a good view of the money that was made by this film.  I highly doubt Fox (if they are smart…. and that usually isn’t the case) will be behind a sequel for this reboot.  Or oooo oooo I know they will go the Spider-Man route and reboot it again. -_-‘

Everyone wonders why I hate The Fox/Sony X-Men Movies.  It is because of stuff like this.  The quality, the love, the faith that Disney and Marvel have placed into their movies isn’t present in The Fox/Sony movies.  Fox/Sony and their underwhelming directors take too many liberties with the source materials.  The Studio has to much sway over how the movies should be made.  It leaves for a bad taste in your mouth.  Seeing how Fox/Sony gave Spider-Man to Disney Marvel (with some strange bargaining thing that kept the web-slinger in their pocket for money.) They should pull out all the Marvel Franchises they own and give it to Disney and Marvel and let them handle the movies.

In all honesty Deadpool is my last shot for Fox/Sony in any marvel movies.  If they screw up Deadpool I will be majorly pissed.  Not only have they been teasing Deadpool fans for a long time about a movie, they gave us a funny leaked footage and the comic-con trailer was amazing and so was the Official trailer trailer was hilarious.  So seriously if they screw this up.  I am quitting on any HOPE for fox/sony marvel movies.  (Thats saying a lot.  I am a self proclaimed Blue-Lantern)