Count It Down With Hiei

HELLO AND WELCOME! Too another countdown.  Where I list the things I love and hate about things I love to do.  Today we will be counting down the best dungeons in The Legend of Zelda series.  The rules for this are simple there will be no repeats of games and I will not be including games from Zelda I have not personally played (Skyward Sword, Breathe of the Wild, The Oracle Series, That train Zelda game….)  SO lets go.

IT’S!

10.  When you think of Zelda many games jump out at you no matter what age you are.  But when it comes to a dungeon nothing is more iconic than The first dungeon in the Original Legend of Zelda on the NES.  This was the first time any of us got to experience the level of difficulty that this game could impose as a young gamer trying to tame that first boss it was mystical and jaw dropping when you finally beat it….. Than your elder sibling beat it in like two seconds….

9.  Not many people think of Zelda and think of the hand held games.  But for me in The Legend of Zelda Link’s awakening The Eagle’s Tower was my favorite.  Running through the various levels of the tower using a massive Cannon ball to knock the tower lower.  Using every trick and skill you possess to reach the goal….. Ahh it was fun.

8.  A crash of thunder awakens you, it is raining outside and a note from your father is awaiting for you that he has gone to castle.  Without hesitation you  find your way to the castle and you see you can’t get in.  So you sneak around to the side and down a hole into the Dungeons of the castle where you find your father wounded….. It is than he tells you to save the Princess.  He gives you your sword and it is off to find Zelda.  The opening to A link to the past has always been one of my favorite games and it’s opening dungeon crawl was always part of the story I loved best.

7.  The Stone Tower in Majora’s mask has always been one of my favorite temples in the game.  That is until after i picked the game back up from Rage quiting the water temple in that same game….GAH any way.  This is to my knowledge the first time you can physically effect the level in Zelda by turning it upside down.  The puzzles were challenging and the music was erie and beautiful at the same time….. and it made you think…Is Link really dead?  Let us not forget the boss fight using the Giants Mask and turning link huge.

6.  The Final Dungeon in Link (Zelda 2) yes yes the boss was unrelentingly cheap and worth of making you want to throw your system at the wall.  But it was also a test of your skill and endurance and fighting off the beasts to reach your ultimate goal…. and once you beat Dark Link without a game Genie…. than you knew I AM THE KING…… and than Mike Tyson stood in your way…. wait a second.

5.  The four swords was fun it presented us with awesome new ways to solve puzzles, team up with friends and in the case of the cave of insights well it made things not only more fun and a lot easier to solve puzzles with friends. It gave us all your friends included an insight into the way this game was going to go down.

4.Much like the last entry.  Triforce Heros brought back the team up aspect and coupled it with new tricks and skills and new outfits which augment your skills.  All of these were fun to find ways to complete things in different manors and gave you new ways to play through the game as you liked.  But of all the Levels the Desert temple stands out in my mind the most as it gives us challenges that not only require you to have a good understanding of the game but it has you putting your team work skills to the test.

3.  The Tower of the gods in Wind Waker.  Plotting through this game you get a large ocean which in some cases you can see islands FAR in the distance, some you can not….. But when it comes to the Tower of the gods…… You can see it from EVERY Island.  It is the point in the game where you find the challenge rating going up,  It is also at this point in the game where you obtain the legendary master sword.

Before I get into the top 2 I need to point out that these were the two I had the most fun with and I couldn’t decide which was better.  But here we Go.

2.  The Arbiter’s Grounds:  This imposing dessert prison used in the past to house the most vile criminals hyrule has ever known.  You pick your way through and fight through challenges and avoiding the sand.  Till you achieve getting the dungeon main item.  The spinner.  The spinner can be used to traverse the sand, clim walls with tracks on it and spun to turn gears in the prison. Leading up to my personal all time favore boss the Stallord, Pin Ball out his spinal collum only to have to fight his head in a battle along the pillar and walls.  Grinding along like you were doing a multi-grind in Tony Hawk Pro-skater.  Timing your jumps right to hit down the head.  Oh man was that fun.

IT’S

Number 1.  The legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time revolutionized the action rpg gaming world.  with it’s beautiul 3d walking world.  Polished game play, MANY memorable Temples.  But none stick out more in my mind than The Forest Temple.  After you obtain the Master Sword and get transported 7 years into the future. You want to check in on your old friends using Sara’s Song you find no response.  So you go to your childhood home where you find she had went to teh forest temple.  Deep in The Lost Woods.  Once you get there you must find your way into the temple and than you are presented with eerie music that haunts you all through the temple even in the open air spots.  The whole feel of it makes you want to second guess finding your friend.  But you trek your way through and fight Phantom Ganondorf to rescue your friend who is a sage.

That concludes this edition of the Countdown.  Do you agree or do you have a different list I would love to read them.  Thanks for reading

Final Fantasizing Part 2

Now that we brought the pain.  It is time to Phoenix Down this blog with

THE TOP FIVE BEST FINAL FANTASY GAMES

5. Final Fantasy I: The original, the beginning and the last chance for Hironobu Sakaguchi.  This game was literly the creator’s final fantasy.  The story goes that Hironobu was struggling to get his original story games published and when he penned Final Fantasy he swore that if it didn’t get made he was going to stop.  Lucky for us.  It made it and boy did it make a great splash.  While I didn’t place it higher mainly because the story does have some issues (mainly the time traveling aspects).  The game is simple and graphically beautiful (for it’s time).  Being the first game it had some bugs which were corrected by the second game.  Like the targeting not being perfect in I but streamlined in II.  This is a great game and I recommend you play it sometime.

4. Final Fantasy IX: This was the last great Final Fantasy game on the playstation.  The story was compelling, the characters were lovable.  The graphics were far and away better than VIII.  The game it self went back to the simple roots of Final Fantasy with the beauty of the upgrades of the times with the graphics.  It didn’t try to over complicate things with junctions and drawing and Materia and GF systems.  It made the Active Turn Base gameplay better than in it’s two predecessors combined.  It made Final Fantasy fun again.  I just wish Square (and than later Square Enix) had taken ques from IX and followed that into X but alas X was an abomination.

3. Final Fantasy XII: While not the greatest and not the worst.  XII brought to the table a refreshing take on Final Fantasy that X lost.  XII WAS OPEN WORLD.  Sure it had it’s clunks.  Like the license board.  But at least the story wasn’t a flashback or following some stupid movie sphere to find the main character’s lover (X-2 ‘s story line).  The battle system felt more like an MMO and was implemented due to the success of the the MMO Final Fantasy XI (which has been excluded from this list along with XIV because both are MMO’s and both I have never played).  The only gripe I have about this game is the License board.  There was no need to buy proficiency in EVERY version of a weapon.  If I bought a dagger I shouldn’t need to buy the Mage Masher because it is a dagger…. just a dagger with a silencing effect.  It is fun and refreshing.

2. Final Fantasy IV: This game is one of my all time favorites.  From the opening to the close FFIV catches you by the heart and brings on an emotional joyride.  The story is compelling and you find yourself wanting to help the main character and make him the best to save the planet. The game play is amazing and not hard to understand.  Simplicity and beautiful the game play makes you think and makes you plan on how you want to go about the game.  Of all the Final Fantasy games this is one I recommend a lot.

Before I get to number one.  These are the honorable mentions

Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy II

Both of these games are good in their own right.  But I honestly do not think they are worthy to be on the best or worst list.  Which leaves us with

1. Final Fantasy VI:  Originally released in America on the SNES as Final Fantasy III it is in fact the sixth incarnation of this game series.  The music is beautiful to behold even for a 16bit era game. The opening sequence of the game throws you right into the action and gives you a taste of things to come later.  The story is beautifully crafted and the character development of both Protagonists and the Antagonist is well paced and very well done.  And let us not for get that Kefka Palazzo is one of if not the best Villain in all of Final Fantasy.

Thank you for taking the time to read both parts of these lists and I encourage readers to post comments both positive and negative.  Was this order good or did I misplace something.  Let me know

The Countdowns (Worst Movies of all time)

Welcome one and all to another edition of the countdown.  It is here where you will find out just what I think is awesome, crappy, snarky, nerdy, and SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN MADE.  So without further ado.  Lets jump right in to the dark dank waters of film and countdown.  The Top Ten Worst Movies of all time.

10. Super Mario Brothers: If you thought this movie wasn’t going to make the list you are dead wrong.  Let me ask you.  When you think of Super Mario do you think about a plumber and his brother who get sucked into an alternate world. Where Dinosaurs still exist and the royal family of this world were turned into a fungus that is sentient.  And the bad guy is a man bent on crossing over to the human world and de-evolving the inhabitants of our world?  OR do you think about a chubby dude in blue overalls with a red shirt and a red cap.  Jumping on angry looking mushrooms and fighting a giant lizard thing to rescue a princess?  If you said the first part than you would be right….. wait?  No This movie was just plain terrible.  Who likes this movie you ask?

 

9. Dungeons & Dragons: How do you screw up a movie about high adventure, high magic and the bonds of friendship triumphing over evil……  You make it a serious film with idiotic dialog and have no connection to what makes the game great.  That is how you ruin a film like Dungeons & Dragons.

8. Fantastic Four (Reboot): Do not get me wrong, I wanted this movie to do good.  The Fantastic Four are the first family of Comics.  They started it all and brought comics into popularity.  This film is an example of why studios need to allow directors who know and love the material, room and TIME to create their vision.  Not have a hand in everything and force a movie to release because your competitors just released an awesome blockbuster.  I honestly believe their is a rebooted Fantastic Four on the cutting room floor that would have been better than what we got.

7.  Dragonball Evolution: A prime example of why America needs to leave Japanese source materials to the Japanese.  If you want to piss off the fans of a franchise to the point where they want to burn your studio to the ground.  Here is what you do.  Take what they love, wipe your ass with it, piss on it, burn it, and than create a story mashing together every plot of the original story into 90 mins and think Thats good enough.  NO.  Give a me one second while I found out who Produ……. FOX!  YOU MOTHER #*$&

………………….Please excuse us while we deal with technical difficulties………………………..

mmmmhmmmm sorry I just had an out burst.  Next Film

6.  Twilight:  Before you scream at me for being a hater.  Here me out on this.  The director of the first film I like her work.  She directed one of my favorite movies (Lords of Dogtown) so I gave the film a shot.  But when your movie puts me to sleep in under twenty mins…… Yeah it’s bad.  Not because I hate the franchise (for many good reasons).  Not because the writer of the screenplay had little to work with in ways of dialog.  But because when your Actors come out and say they hate their characters and that “This is just a paycheck for me.” (Paraphrasing).  When your actors think the author is a terrible writer.  That is why this movie is on this list.  Actually all for movies are in this spot.  Congratulations to you Stephanie Meyer.  Each progressive movie got more and more asinine and convoluted to a point where the last two movies had more jump cuts in it than Freddie Krueger playing jump rope and cutting peoples throats.

5. Hackers: Believe me when I tell you.  I put this movie on this list and I secretly enjoy this film.  This movie is a guilty pleasure for me.  You have a good idea, you make it cyberpunky and than you throw in technical terms that don’t exist.  You throw in counter hacker measures that don’t exist.  To quote Romero from Mr. Robot.  “I have been in this game for twenty seven years and not once have I ever seen a singing virus.” The movie is hackie, outdated, rediculous.  But it has a certain charm to it that I love.

4.  Chairman of the Board: Why anyone thinks Carrot Top is funny is beyond me.  But to put him in a film (unless it is a stoner movie) and have try to be funny for 90+ minutes…. Yes I wanted to gouge a screw driver into my eye socket.  That seemed more entertaining than this movie.  The plot made no sense even the characters didn’t get it.

3. In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale:  Not even Jason Statham’s celeberity appeal could save this atrocity of a movie.  The Production value was shitty, the dialog was less than subpar.  Even for Uwe Boll this movie was just plain BAD!  I don’t care if Uwe Boll will want to box me for say this movie is a piece of crap, I am calling it like I see it.

2. BloodRayne: Another of the Uwe Boll movies.  How do you screw up a sexy vampire chick in leather…. Well you do everything that went on in this movie.  That is how.  Uwe some how made this game that was fun to play, turned into a movie that made people think Uwe Boll would have been a better porn director.

1. Alone In The Dark: Finally We come to number one and I am sad to say it is yet another Uwe Boll film.  Alone in the Dark should have been left there….. Christian Slater…. love the actor but he has to pick better films to be in.  Lucky for Christian he went on to better things….. But as for this movie.  I solely believe that it was this movie that cemented Uwe Boll’s place as the Number One Worst Director of all time.  Knocking Ed Wood Jr. off his long standing pedestal.

This concludes another countdown.  I hope you enjoyed and as always please leave comments tell us what your top 10 is.  Happy Reading

The Countdowns

Welcome to The Countdown.  A blog segment where I give a list of things that are either amazing or super lame.  These lists are based upon my personal opinion and as always I ask that you keep an open mind when reading them.  Feel free to comment on lists that appear or make lists of your own in the comment section.

Upcoming Super Hero/Villain movies

Starting from Ten being worst to one being my most anticipated film

10: The Fantastic Four reboot.  Now visually it looks appealing.  My problem lays with the fact that the casting just seems off.  I like Miles Teller and Michael B Jordan they were great together in That Awkard Moment.  But this is not a comedy this is action and Miles I do not feel fits the roll of arguably the 4th smartest character in the Marvel Universe.  The thing looks just weird.  The production team has already announced a second movie for this.  Why would you announce a second movie without knowing if your first film does well?  I am sure this movie will do well in theaters because it has Marvel’s name on it.  I just don’t feel this movie was needed.

9.  Suicide Squad:  The more I see of this film the less I want to see it.  The cast of villains just seems like the writers took the basic concept updated it to their liking and threw darts at the DC Villain Roster.  Killer Croc; El Diablo; Johnny Frost; Hugo Strange; Katana; King Shark.  Put with the original team of Rick Flag; Harley Quinn; Deadshot; Boomerang; Enchantress.  Harley Quinn looks to much like a sex doll in this and lacks the charm and endearment of her other renditions and maybe it is because I am so used to Tara Strong doing the voice of Harley that I can not get past Margot Robbie’s lack of a Brooklyn (Gotham) accent.  Now the joker.  Jared Leto just looks terrible as the Joker.  I saw the trailer and my first thought was HOLY #&*@ IT’S GOLLAM ON CRACK.   The voice in the trailer seems forced and Jared Leto just looks like he is trying to hard to be crazy.  The problem with the joker being in this movie is this.  HE DOESN’T FIT IN AND WOULD BE TRYING TO UNDERMINE AND GET PEOPLE TURNING AGAINST AMANDA WALLER!  HE IS FAR TO UNSTABLE EVEN WITH A BOMB IN HIS HEAD!  But it’s okay Batman will keep him in check.  -_-‘  This movie is going to blow.

8. Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice.  Honestly I see this movie doing great in the box office because of the Names alone.  With Ben Afleck directing this could be a good movie.  I am just sick to death of Batman and Superman all together.  I didn’t like the last couple of Superman movies and Nolan not making more Batman.  I just need a break from DC’s Top 2 Super Heroes.

7. Aquaman: The name alone should tell you this DC Character doesn’t deserve a movie.
  Aquaman: The Coast Guard G.I. Joe of The Justice League

6. Black Panther: Okay this movie could do well with the right writer and a great director.  Seeing as Black Panther is on the Disney/Marvel Team.  I am not too worried.  My only concern is the writer will have to deal with the fact that not many people outside of die hard comic fans knows this character exists.  So there will have to be a lot of explaining as to what this character can do and how he is what is he is.

The Top 5 starts my most anticipated movies.

5. Antman:  Coming out in just a few days, I am super stoked for this film.  While I am a bit bummed they didn’t make Hank Pym Antman.  I am glad to see that they got an actor like Paul Rudd to play Antman (Scott Lange).  The movie will be fun and exciting to watch.

4. Doctor Strange:  Starring Benedict Cumberbatch.  This movie will be fun to watch and I can not wait to see how Cumberbatch does as a spell-casting crime fighter.  If it is written well this shall do well in the last phase of the Disney/Marvel films.

3. While I hate the current movie trend of breaking a movie into 2 parts.  I am looking forward to Avengers 3: The Infinity War Part 1 and Part 2.  These movies will tie together the events of the phases of Disney/Marvel Cinematic Universe in a nice neat bow.  Hopefully.  With Joss Whedon rumored to not being director, I am a bit hesitant about this movie.  But I will trust in the formula that they have in place and the caliber of directors they have in their arsenal.

2. Captain America: Civil War.  While the Civil War comic event in Marvel was a favorite of mine.  I am okay with how they are condensing it down for this movie.  The heat between Rodgers and Stark comes to a head as the two figure heads of the Avengers hug it out… wait what why would they hug.  NO they will work out their fustrations the way men do.  By beating the ever loving shit out of each other and than calling your once rival friend.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy 2: This is the big one that I can not wait for.  Star-Lord is one of my favorite Marvel Heroes and I am glad to see him and the team are getting some TLC and Quality Screen Time.  I heard next to nothing about Guardians Coming out and when I saw it.  I was blown away.  So I am going to ride the tide and wait and not get my expectations up while I wait for this movie to come out.

I hope you enjoyed this Countdown.  Please remember to like and comment.  I would love to see what you are waiting for in the upcoming hero/villain movies.